Growing Beyond the Playroom: How Synergetic Play Therapy Supports Tweens and Teens

As children grow, their way of expressing themselves naturally evolves. The colorful toys and pretend play that once filled the therapy room begin to transform into new versions of “play.” For tweens and teens, toys are often replaced with stories, humor, music, or the digital worlds they build online. But even as their sessions look different on the outside, the same needs remain underneath- to be seen, understood, and supported in navigating the complex inner world of growing up.

The Shift from Play to Story

Younger children typically use play to communicate what they don't yet have the words to express. A sword fight might be used to express aggression or overwhelm, while a crying baby doll may represent fear or vulnerability.

As kids move into their tween and teen years, their brains and identities develop rapidly. Acting out their struggles through play shifts to telling stories about their lives. These stories might contain overarching themes such as:

• “I don't fit in.”

• “I can't talk to my parents about my problems.”

• “I don't know what my strengths are, or if I even have any.”

Through these narratives, older kids reveal what’s happening beneath the surface—their self-concept, emotions, hopes, and beliefs about themselves and the world.

The Search for Identity

One of the central developmental tasks of adolescence from a Synergetic Play Therapy perspective is answering the question “Who am I?” This stage is about identity exploration- testing limits, exploring interests, and figuring out what feels authentic to them. But many tweens and teens are still working through an earlier, more tender developmental task: “Am I okay?”

Even though they may look and sound older, the emotional age of many tweens and teens doesn't yet match their chronological age. They’re in the process of building confidence in who they are and learning to trust that at their core, they are good, capable, and enough. When this earlier question of "Am I okay?" hasn’t been fully resolved, the search for identity can feel especially vulnerable.

At the same time, tweens and teens are bombarded with messages about who they should be- from parents, teachers, peers, social media, and the broader culture. They’re trying to sort through all the constant input while building a solid sense of self.

This process can bring both freedom and confusion. On one hand, they’re discovering new ideas, talents, and identities. On the other, they may feel pressure to fit in or live up to expectations. When a young person feels torn between who they really are and who they think they need to be, stress, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem can easily follow.

In Synergetic Play Therapy, one of the core goals is to help children and teens develop what we call an attachment to self- a deep internal connection that allows them to stay present with their own emotional experiences, whether pleasant or painful. As kids grow and begin to rely less on parents and more on their internal world, this attachment to self becomes especially important. It helps them navigate the ups and downs of adolescence with greater self-awareness and resilience.

By supporting this connection, therapy creates space for teens to explore not only who they are, but also to feel deeply and know within themselves that they are okay.

Why Synergetic Play Therapy Still Fits

Synergetic Play Therapy (SPT) is about much more than toys and playing-it’s about nervous systems being in relationship with one another. Whether a child is six or sixteen, therapy focuses on helping them feel safe enough to experience and regulate difficult emotions.

For tweens and teens, that might mean:

• Coloring or fidgeting with kinetic sand instead of playing with toys.

• Exploring personal stories and finding new meaning in them.

• Learning to notice what’s happening inside their body when they talk about something hard.

• Understanding that their feelings are signals, not problems to get rid of or avoid.

SPT honors the way a child or teen naturally communicates at their developmental stage. The process meets them exactly where they are and invites healing through connection, presence, and co-regulation.

Rewriting Their Story

One of the most powerful things that happens in therapy with older kids is the chance to edit and update their story. When a tween or teen begins to recognize how their nervous system responds to stress and what patterns have been playing out in their relationships, they can start to make different choices.

Instead of unconsciously reenacting old narratives (“I always mess things up,” “No one listens to me”), therapy helps them create new ones:

• “I can speak up for myself.”

• “My feelings make sense.”

• “I’m learning to handle hard things.”

In this way, therapy becomes less about playing and more about meaning-making- a courageous process of identity formation, self-regulation, and authentic connection to self and others.

Supporting the Transition

Parents often wonder if their child is too old for play therapy. The truth is, as long as a tween or teen is learning about themselves through connection and self-expression, play therapy is still happening, just in a different form.

Tweens and teens are still developing emotionally, neurologically, and relationally. Synergetic Play Therapy adapts with them, combining relational neuroscience with authentic connection to support growth, regulation, and resilience at any age.

If your tween or teen is grappling with the big questions of “Am I okay?” and “Who am I?”, Synergetic Play Therapy offers a developmentally attuned space to explore identity, strengthen attachment to self, and grow into the person they’re meant to become. As a Certified Synergetic Play Therapist, I offer support for tweens and teens navigating the following issues:

• Low self-esteem

• Depression and anxiety

• Suicidal ideation and/or self-harm

• Family conflict

• Trauma

• School stress

• Dating and friendships

  

I regularly work with teens who are recipients of Victim's Compensation or Second Wind Fund. Contact me today to learn more about these resources and how I may be able to support your tween or teen through the ups and downs of this unique life stage!